Saturday, December 13, 2014


hi, sup?
i'm a college student now fyi, lol. i move to bali (yay?) i go to udayana university and i take political science as my major. soooo thats what im up to right now, since i havent post anything for so long, i just want to write something here and share it with whoever read this.

last time i posted here, i tell about how frustrated i am to be a high school student, how i really want to puke everyday of my life and how i really hate high school. and that was 3 years ago, before i felt like i wanna go back to high school and live with my best budds forever, cos u know, when u go to college, u are being separated with ur buddies and with your normal life too. thats what i feel right now. 

everything's different, the thing that u want to happen, sometimes its not working out like u've planned before. u need to be ready for whats future hold. because i just notice that it was a mystery, a mystery that everyone never know, a mystery that will shocking u. i dont know what im thinking about right now.

so the thing is, this is going to be the most random story that i have ever posted.

i'm missing home so bad.. i dont know what to do with my college life, i-don't-know-what-to-do. i wanna go home. i miss my parents, i miss my sister and my brother, i miss my friendssss!! OMG. i miss everything that I left in jkt. my life in here was SO boring, i go to campus at 8a.m then i study study study, then at 3p.m i go home and i effin tired so i took a nap, and i woke up at 7p.m (CAN U IMAGINE HOW TIRED I AM?!?!!!) then i eat, i watch tv for a bit then i go to bed. repeat 24/5. trs kalau hari libur, gue gabut. bangun siang. siangnya se-siang itu, kadang sore. tidur gak teratur. trs bangun cm buat makan. abis itu tidur lagi. 
everybody thinks that living in bali was like "heaven" was like "couldn't ask for a better place to live" was like "enak bgt lo nyet kuliah di bali berasa liburan". oh hell to the no. sangat biasa aja. gak biasa bgt juga sih. seru. when you don't know what to do, when you bored, you can just go to the beach watching the sun set, hangouts with friends, etc. BUT, when you are on the point where you really really really don't know what to do, even beach can't help you. all you want to do is stop. stop doing everything. stop the time. s.t.o.p. lo pasti pengen udahan gt, kayak pengen stop pengen udahan, gamau lagi. pengen pulang. kayak gue skrg.

i'm so tired. super tired, even go to sleep can't help me out of this tiring thing. i don't know why. i just don't know. i need someone who could be there for me when i'm on this point. yea galau. tp iya, serius. kayak butuh org gt, gatau siapa, tmn kek atau siapa, pokoknya butuh orang yg ngerti. biasanya gue nyebut ini sm tmn gue tuh "gaenak hati". kita sering kayak gini, dan kita sharing things. kita sharing tentang apa yang lagi kita rasain, bahkan kadang kita gaktau apa yang kita rasain, tapi kita tetep sharing, jadi kita ngerasa lega, kadang nangis jg. and it helps a lottttttt! cuma sekarang, gue di bali, tmn gue di jkt.. how could we sharing things like this only via text / video call?! so i decided to wrote it down in here. 
jadi.... iya. gue gatau sebenernya apa yg lg gue rasain. gue gatau. gue bingung. gue capek. rasanya ganjel banget. se-ganjel banget itu. kadang bikin nyesek sendiri tiba2 gt. rasanya tuh kayak lg tenggelem. gak enak. tp, gatau kenapa. rasanya tuh kayak bener2 lg butuh seseorang. jijik sebenernya gue nulis gini tp, ya...gmn. 

intinya, di post ini, gue gatau. gatau knp.
pusing, gue bingung. harus apa. dan kenapa.
cuma mau bilang aja kalau,
iya, udah lama.
dan kangen.
dan butuh.

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